The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The nation's only newswire service is blowing more blue smoke than a third-hand Ozito whipper snipper at the moment and is now asking people in the community for donations to keep going. AAP was once a top-of-the-range four-stroke whipper snipper that provided a service that hundreds of regional and metro newspapers relied upon each day. A...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The extended stage 4 lock down in Melbourne is now causing big problems for the state's Liberal party MPs who have not been able to sit down for a long lunch with alleged organised crime figures for over 5 months now. Former Victorian opposition leader Matthew Guy says Melbourne will no longer be the restaurant and culture capital of...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact British trade advisor Tony Abbott has received a typically cold but polite Nej tak from the Folketing this morning after offering the small nation a great deal on some iron ore from our nation's West. The news comes as the former prime minister defied critics to be appointed as one of Boris Johnson's closest...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT If you can't tell by the red dust he refuses to wash off his ute, local city boy, Cameron Sanston (27) went out bush last weekend. Even though he was only out there to attend some bush races with a couple mates from school, Cameron is acting like he has just come back from a decade of hard agricultural labour -...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE |CONTACT A no-good mooch has decided to test the limits of his friendship today, after visiting a mate for a beer turned into a hostage situation. Damien Burke reportedly handed Jason his only iPhone cord while they were having a yarn on the back patio, but quickly experienced some unprecedented backlash when he’d attempted to get it back....

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A cocky young bloke who's been walking around the pub like he's bulletproof, actually is bulletproof, it has been confirmed by nearby scientists who just happened to be drinking in the same place. The Lord Kidman Hotel's local crowd in South Betoota just sit and watch on, as the near-invincible young fella keeps carrying on like a galah. After...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact When Jimmy Barnes stood in front of that burning canefield and scream his little lungs out, he was screaming them out for people like Bacardi Carter. Once just a simple man that broke shit up and threw it in a skip for a living, the ambitious 24-year-old soon hit the books and now puts bricks...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact An East Betoota Tablet is said to be 'ecstatic' with news coming in from the coast that he'd won the prestigious Australian Father of the Year Award today in Brisbane. The local three-year-old father, was the Queensland nominee for the competition after being nominated by an anonymous member of the wider Diamantina community. Originally hailing from...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of the dumbest fucking people in our cosmopolitan desert community is still buying his meat from places like Woolworths and Coles instead of a local small business. Dennis Pooley, of Grosvenor Circuit in Betoota Heights, has shit in his head where his brain should be because every other day, he walks past his local...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Baby Boomers, the biggest social and economic barriers to this nation's recovery from its first recession in 30 years, have been urged by the Prime Minister this morning to thank the young people in their lives for the sacrifices they've made in protecting them from the super flu. So far, the Australian Government has spent...