The Nation

Clive Palmer conquers grueling Mount Kosciuszko climb in Bentley

3 October, 2015. 8:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact CLIVE PALMER HAS become only the fourth Member of Parliament to climb Mount Kosciuszko while in office. Doing it for charity, Mr Palmer said it was easy to make time. However, rather than don the snow boots or hiking shoes, the 61-year-old opted to ascend the nation's highest peak in his late...

West Coast Eagles Fan Disgusted To Learn What A Top-Knot Is

4 October, 2015. 10:50 IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | Contact The AFL's Grand Final is here and what a divide we have. The heavily-tattooed West Coast Eagles fans attempting to out-cheer the culturally elite Hawthorn Hawks fans. After driving across the Nullabor to Melbourne in one 42-hour-stint, Perth construction development officer, Adam Bond says he wishes he had spent more time staring into the sun...

Recent world news confirms Australia as best place on Earth

2 October, 2015. 15:35 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact IN LIGHT OF RECENT news, Australia has once again been confirmed as the greatest place on Earth. The announcement was made earlier today during a gala event in Washington D.C. hosted by out-going ambassador Kim Beazley. Australia was found to be the greatest place on the planet by a number of independent...

“The worst thing to happen to Cronulla since the race riots”

30 September, 2015. 16:20 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact SUTHERLAND Shire Council will fight on the beaches to defend the reputation of the region from the spotlight of a new online webseries. The Shire’s beaches, parks and other public areas will be no-go areas for the producers of the new television show Streets Of Sydney if the council has its way, that...

Kim Jong-un saves North Korean innings with top score of 807*

30 September, 2015. 15:03 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THE SUPREME LEADER of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (DPRK) has paved the way for a North Korean victory on day two of their test match against Cuba in Pyongyang yesterday. The 32-year-old scored a quick-fire 807 not out in the last session of the day's play, putting the Koreans in...

CONFIRMED: More flowing water on Mars than in Lightning Ridge

29 September, 2015. 15:30 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact OVERNIGHT the discovery of liquid water flows on Mars has buoyed hopes that life may exist on our closest celestial neighbour. The Martian creeks leave long, opaque stains on the mountains that can reach hundreds of metres downhill in the warmer months, before they dry up in the autumn as surface temperatures drop. A phenomenon,...

Experts Confirm That Wogs Love Soccer

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Australian people of Southern and Eastern European descent are not giving up on soccer anytime soon, a report has found. The Monash Univerity study concluded that Western Oriental Gentleman (Wogs) were by the far the most interested in non-contact football, out of all Australian demographics. Professor Sean Webster-Hourigan spoke to The Betoota Advocate today, about the University's three-year, government-funded...

“Anti-virus gave my computer autism”

25 September, 2015. 07:15 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A PROMINENT voice in the anti-anti-virus movement has lashed out at computer immunisation software makers after she revealed that her Windows computer was diagnosed with autism after she installed an anti-virus program. Stephanie Muller from the every growing anti-computer-anti-virus support group Alternative Futures says that her computer refused to make eye contact with...

Syrian refugee politely declines resettlement offer in Lithgow; returns home

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact After picking up his family and fleeing the violence in the Syrian city of Aleppo, Zakir al-Zahar made the painful decision to start a new life. He tried to pay human traffickers to take them to Germany through Austria, but they were turned away at the border. England was his next goal but after Teresa...

Donald Trump Asks Peta Credlin To Help Make America Great Again

23 September, 2015. 11:10 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Peta Credlin, the chief of staff to former prime minister Tony Abbott, says she has no intention of entering politics, while urging women to take on more leadership roles. "Don't be afraid of entering politics, girls. Just because I am steering clear of it, doesn't mean you should," said the sexually-charged political powerhouse. "Trust...

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