A no-good mooch has decided to test the limits of his friendship today, after visiting a mate for a beer turned into a hostage situation.

Damien Burke [24] reportedly handed Jason his only iPhone cord while they were having a yarn on the back patio, but quickly experienced some unprecedented backlash when he’d attempted to get it back.

Despite being the one bumming his mate’s charger, Jason felt the need to launch into a game of 20 questions before he even thought about relinquishing it to its rightful owner.

“What percentage are you on? I’m only on 17% bro.”

“I’ll give it back to you when it hits 30.”

It’s alleged that the charger example is only one of the many shit things Jason is capable of, with his favourite dick move being conveniently ‘forgetting’ his bank card whenever he goes out with his mates.

Dodging prompts for payment under the guise of ‘waiting for his Centrelink check to come through’, Jason seems to care more about blowing $2k for a set of rims for his Nissan Shitbox than he does about maintaining the equilibrium of his friendship.

If it wasn’t for his A+ banter and his ability to source a bag in under half an hour, it’s likely that Jason would’ve been ditched by his mates a long time ago.

More to come.


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