The Nation

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Local bloke Layton Price should really know better than to slam dunk an entire bottle of Shiraz in 45 minutes. You’d think at age thirty-two he’d have realised that wine is never a good choice for binge drinking, but with a last-minute invite to a boys night and with nothing else leftover from new years, Layton made the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of the world's most successful car manufacturers has broken their silence over a controversial model the company makes. The senior executive board at Toyota have admitted for the first time today that the FJ Cruiser was 'a bit of a brain snap'. Aside from being one of the weirdest-looking cars on the road, the FJ...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT One Northern Rivers online Bali-made jewellery retailer has today been forced to admit to decanting supermarket-brand hand soap into empty luxury skin care bottles. The controversial practice, known locally as 'the Aeswap' or Aesiphoning, is considered to be an ultimate taboo in the region, which is mostly made up of elite Sydney and Melbourne expats who don't really need...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Two weeks ago, a local Instagram influencer couple adopted an adorable second-hand dog. The couple shared the adoption on their respective platforms, much to the delight of their followers. However, The Advocate can now exclusively reveal that the couple have since phoned the RSPCA demanding to return the dog after it failed to garner the social attention they...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT There is not much to look forward to as bedtime beckons during the Australian summer, with the possible exception of a whirring pedestal fan that while doing a piss poor job at keeping you cool may still lull you to sleep with soothing white noise. For many Australians, trying to sleep in the summer is about as pleasant...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As the clock wound down on another Tuesday from hell, a local piece of shit stood in front of the frozen pizza display at his high street supermarket and sighed. As our reporter looked on, Dale Peckham's eyes glanced from the McCain's Margherita to the generic brand meat lovers. He baulked as his hand reached...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact School bullies and older siblings alike are facing a challenging start to the year as China bans the export of the popular Chinese Burn.   The four 40 foot containers unloaded in Port Botany today could be the last shipments into the foreseeable future and stocks are expected to be exhausted by mid-February.    The Chinese Burn, which is applied by...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Shooting brumbies to death, according to one French Quarter resident, is inhumane and disgusting. Fontaine Dauterive, of Rue De Arlen, said that destroying the animals with bullets is the destruction of Australia's cultural heritage. "Brumbies are part of our history," said the pro-bono solicitor. "To shoot them is to shoot our heritage down. They might be doing...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact Residents of Betoota’s historic Betoota Park housing estate are up in arms today after news that the entire region has been rezoned as ‘RU1 – Primary Production’. Under the rezoning, council rates will be strategically increased to force the residents of 347 properties out, leaving the area empty and ready to be cleared for a proposed dairy...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of the nation's favourite sons will be reprogrammed today to not walk on the pitch when he's not batting. Steve Smith, a popular run machine and part-time wrist-spinner, was criticised earlier this week for walking all over the pitch marks left by Indian batsman Rishabh Pant. Some in the game, most notably English, Indian and...