The Nation

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT One of the sussest blokes in Australian parliament has today continued to attack Twitter for 'censorship.' George Christensen has slammed the private media company Twitter for its permanent suspension of Donald Trump's account, claiming that the attempt to stop their platform from being used to incite violence is driven by a desire to censor one of his idols....

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A token office Pom revealed to The Advocate today that for the past year, he's been asked by locals if he's thankful to have had the chance to ride the spicy cough pandemic out here in Australia, rather than his native London. Maurice Clockhouse, of the French Quarter, has been living in Australia for nearly...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Chief Minister of the ACT and the person who gives him medical advice has declared the capital open to people from Brisbane again - in case anybody cares. "People from Brisbane can come and visit Canberra from tomorrow," said the ACT's de facto leader, Andrew Barr. "It's an exciting time. I mean coming to Canberra,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The search is continuing this morning for those in our fragile society that give a fuck about universities having a hard time because they don't have any international student cash cows to milk thanks to this spicy cough going 'round. One person who does care about the South Betoota Polytechnic College's plight was last seen...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Here comes trouble! Hollywood executives have decided to dish up some mismatched antics that will get the whole family laughing before anyone has said one line of dialogue. Although some have called for his resignation, producer Herman Marigold has been heralded as a genius after casting Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson and Kevin Hart in the same movie despite the fact...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In a sensational sporting comeback, a much loved Aussie figure is set to return to the limelight this weekend. Following a big gaffe from the cricket world yesterday, Joe The Cameraman is set to return to the fold. Two decades after shooting to prominence as a result of the Scott Muller incident, Joe is set to be wheeled...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Anthony Albanese has today shocked the country, and appeared in news coverage all across the country. The sensational move comes after the Leader of the Opposition, who seems to have forgotten what his job actually is, was caught in car accident in Sydney. A young driver in Range Rover reportedly crashed into the back of the very sensible...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT One of the most popular board games is Monopoly, a real estate themed game that gives most Millenials their only chance to own property with the realistic detail of it mostly being up to chance disguised as hard work.  On Friday evening, one group of gamers sat in their French Quarter living room gathered around a Monopoly board and...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact Local parents are rejoicing today after news that regional drug rehabilitation and counselling service Betoota Pathways is now offering an inpatient program to help toddlers with debilitating Wiggles addictions.   “It’s what this area desperately needs” said young mum Brianna Vito, 19. “I’ve got Kieran on the waiting list already; I can’t even go near him in the morning if...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk has revealed her confusion this morning as other state premiers around the country have politely declined the opportunity to score some political points against her by slamming their borders closed to Queensland. In Victoria, the state's defacto leader Daniel Andrews said that while his government suggests reconsidering travel to Brisbane, he's...