Sports

Report: New Tennis Balls Smell Pretty Good For Some Reason

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by the Australian Institute Of Sport has found that even the most nonathletic Australians still find the smell of new tennis balls to be quite exciting. The study, which went for 18 months and cost the tax-payer up to $800,000 has found that the smell of new tennis balls is something that...

Malcolm Turnbull Asks Staffer Why They Film Cricket In Night Vision These Days

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact After being ridiculed and mocked for his lack of sporting knowledge, the Prime Minister has taken a course of action against that flaw in his Australian character by forcing himself to watch cricket and tennis each night. However, speaking to The Advocate earlier today, one of Malcolm Turnbull's aids has revealed that when a dubious...

Big Bash consider letting bowlers tamper the ball to level the playing field

18 January, 2016. 11:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As a number of rule modifications were introduced to aid the batsman in T20, the shortest form of the game, bowlers in the Big Bash League have started asking for a number of modifications themselves. At the moment, the rules favour batsmen heavily and punish bowlers for any mistake. However, nearly every bowler...

NRL CEO Admits Lack Of Scandals Pretty Weird For This Time Of The Year

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After three consecutive weeks of no drug, alcohol or violence-related misdemeanours in the National Rugby League, CEO Todd Greenberg says it's almost like the players weren't aware that the exhibition rounds begin in less than two months. "It's kind of like, in 2016 we had well and truly had a few scandals before Mitchell Pearce humped...

Channel 7 Accused Of Being ‘Fucked’ For Not Broadcasting Any Form Of Cricket

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact Following the news that Channel Nine will make a multi-multi-million dollar offer for the rights to the explosive T20 Big Bash League to add to their test cricket and one day cricket roster, viewers have today accused the non-cricketing television stations of being pointless and dumb. T20 has grown into one of Australian television's most...

Local Man Really Wants To Get Behind Kyrgios But It Hasn’t Been Fucking Easy

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following the news that Australian tennis star Kyrgios has today faced the media – after beating Rafa Nadal – wearing a t-shirt that said “F*** Donald Trump“ - one local punter reckons he can finally get behind the controversial 21-year-old. "I say good on him" says Josh Clapp (35) from the couch of his living room. "He's playing good tennis. He can...

Australians Demand More Cricket To Fill Awkward Gaps Between BBL And Test Matches

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With another week of holidays left, local man Roger Deen (35) is demanding more cricket. He joins thousands of other Australian men who don't feel they are getting enough between the 9:30 am test openers and the final Big Bash batsmen at around 9:30pm. "This fucking rain isn't helping things" "I just want to be able to watch 2000 over...

Matt Renshaw reveals his maiden Test century celebrations were dampened by Sydney’s LockOut™ laws

5 January, 2017. 15:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact After scoring the first of many hundreds to come, opening Test batsman Matt Renshaw explained to The Advocate this afternoon that his celebrations last night were cut short because of Sydney's LockOut™ laws. Rolling out of an Oxford Street establishment at closing time, the 20-year-old struggled to find another venue in the...

Chris Sandow defends fight video: “It’s how we shake hands in Cherbourg”

4 January, 2016. 12:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Hundreds of migloos around the nation were shocked earlier this week after footage emerged of former NRL superstar Chris Sandow fighting another man in his hometown of Cherbourg. The 27-year-old was seen trading blows with another man, over what the mayor of the town as described as 'an argument between mates after a...

Fitzroy barista reveals he’s always loved Test cricket after epic win at the MCG

30 December, 2016. 17:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Footscray-born coffee technician Banjo Tuesday explained candidly to The Advocate this afternoon that he was actually at the group cheering on the Australian cricket team as they record a historic win over Pakistan at the MCG. As opposed to rolling his eyes whenever any of his morning clients speak about sports, Banjo...

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