Parents Outraged After Bluey Episode Shows Extrajudicial Execution Of Bandit By Chechen Separatists
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The creators of popular children's programme Bluey have come under attack again from parents by show a graphic execution of a beloved character.
The latest episode of Bluey shows the family taking a holiday to Chechnya, where they almost immediately run into trouble.
One local parent explained watching the show with her son as a...
Money Made From Cooking Meth In Shenzen Now In Boomer’s Pocket After Selling The Family Home For $3m
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A self-described wise old bastard from our town's leafiest enclave has described the sale of his four-bedroom home as "the deal of the century" after it sold at auction for some $250,000 above the reserve price.
Michael John Philip explained to our reporters that he had to look far and wide for the best...
Chocolate Fundraiser Smartly Taps Into Post Easter Choccy Addictions
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
30 odd years ago, local recreational, religious, and educational groups decided that parenting was not already hard enough and decided to give children boxes of chocolates to sell.
As these fundraising packs seem to be the only way for Aussies to get their hands on a jumbo Caramello Koala, these fundraisers are usually a hit, even if mum is...
Study Finds Chinese Tourists Aren’t Coming Here Anymore Because We Bought Submarines To Kill Them With
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
According to a recent study by South Betoota Polytechnic College, Chinese tourism to Australia has reportedly decreased due to fears of submarine attacks. The study suggests that Chinese tourists believe Australia has purchased submarines for the purpose of killing Chinese military personnel should get start a war in 40 years' time.
Despite the Australian government's...
Report: Friend Clearly Just Voicing Their Internal Monologue At This Point
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactThough she loves nothing more than receiving a few juicy voice notes from her friends, Kat Chen can only allocate so much of her attention to hearing a stream of consciousness - especially if the first thirty seconds aren’t delivering a punch.
For those who are unaware of the correct formula for gossip, it should be preceded with...
Bloke Suggesting Opening Up Relationship About To Learn It’s Much Easier For Women To Get A Root
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA bloke who’d originally intended to just get a free pass at his coworker, has unfortunately found out the hard way that his romantic prospects pale in comparison to his girlfriend.
Paul Gabbot tells The Advocate that he’d gotten a bit bored with his relationship but admits he’d never actually tried to do anything to spice it up...
Bloke Triple Checks He’s Turned Off Bluetooth After Connecting To Living Room Speaker A Few Days Ago
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIf there’s yet another thing the cost of living crisis has taken from young people, it’s the ability to shave the carrot without worrying about your roommates hearing you - and at age 29, Betoota Heights bloke Keith Hammond unfortunately perform solo activities without conducting a few checks beforehand.
You see, unless Keith wants to give up the perks...
Bushie On Hamilton Island Asks Staff If They’ve Tried Shooting These Fucking Cockatoos
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A farmer in the district has spent the past few days on Hamilton Island where he's been harassed non-stop by "the fucking cockatoos".
So much so, Betoota grazier Dale Clarke has asked the "blokes working at the hotel" if they've ever tried "shooting the fucking things" or controlling them in other ways.
He spoke briefly to...
Blokes Who Complain About Women Driving Found To Prefer Cars With One Female Owner
CLYDE ROYAL |Western News| ContactOut on the street this week The Advocate asked some of our local constituents for their thoughts on women in motor vehicles.
We asked one simple question “Women drivers, good or bad?” and then just let the crazy leak out.
Jeremy seemed to think that female drivers were to be avoided, we then asked Jeremy about his driving...
Advice Column | Cost Effective Ways To Chase Up Those Loans Repayments From Your Dropkick Mate
DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACTYou fucked up didn’t you? You ignored your better judgement and let your dropkick mate talk you into lending them a ton of money.
You empathetic, stupid idiot. In what world did you think you’d ever get that money back? If the banks won’t lend your dropkick mate money – even though they’d make a...
