Headlines

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews has today been met with a chorus of support from inner-city Melbourne residents whose entire identities are based around worshipping him and his government. As Greater Sydney marches towards the back end of their fifth week in lock down, the man responsible for last year's second wave that resulted in 7181 of his own...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT COULD YOU COME IN HERE FOR A SEC: Former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd has once again spared Scotty From Marketing the humiliation of being exposed as as lazy public servant who spends more time playing with his dick than he spends on the phone to multinational pharmaceutical executives. This isn’t the first time the first time the retired Brisbane...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With just less than 3 million Australians that have received both of their shots, it's become quite clear that Australia's current jab roll-out is the most needlessly complicated government program since they sent letters to the entire population to ask them what their vibe was regarding marriage equality. However, it has been reported today that 38-year-old from Betoota's leafy...

MARKUS VENUTI | Italia  | CONTACT It seems that local Ingham resident Raphael Panucci might change his ways after the run Scotty's been having. This comes after almost an entire lifetime of voting for the LNP as a small business owner who hates the bloody banca and taxaman more than his grandkids could ever know. Due to the fact that the only television he has...

ALEXIS CORBETT | Criminal Negligence | CONTACT NOT SO FAST BIG BOY! Grandpa Kev has been hailed a hero again today after successfully pulling a bedraggled Prime Minister from the very same beach that the honourable Harold Holt disappeared from in 1967. This isn't the first time the first time the retired Brisbane politician has had to save the PM's neck in the last few...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT HE'LL TRY ANYTHING: The off-chance that Australia might nab a few Olympic gold medals at the Tokyo Hunger Games over the next fortnight might be the only reprieve that Scotty From Marketing has from an unflattering news cycle that has finally cottoned on to how bad he is at leading our country during a major crisis. With 15 million...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The major cities and towns of Queensland have just enough freedom for their Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk to get away with flying to Japan this week, as the rest of Australia remains imprisoned under strict lockdowns. If this little overseas jaunt took place a month ago, Anna would be public enemy one right now. That said, Queenslanders as a whole are...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT TIME TO MAN UP KID: Scotty From Marketing has pulled up just short of apologising for the problems the government has had with the jab roll-out - but he has today admitted that he is willing to 'take responsibility' - a Prime Ministerial duty that he has shown no interest in until now. "I take responsibility for the problems...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT BUFFALO TRADESMAN: The state recorded 110 new locally acquired cases - of which 44 were reportedly out in the community while infectious - despite the tightening of restrictions for local government areas in Sydney’s south-west. As this daily number stubbornly refuses to dip below 70 for the last fortnight, other measures are being brought in to stop travel around...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia's former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd has today come to terms with the fact that he won't be leaving his reluctant posting at Kirribilli House for quite some time, after Scotty From Marketing was again proves to the world that he has a long way to go before he is in any shape to be leading the country. This...