CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
TIME TO MAN UP KID: Scotty From Marketing has pulled up just short of apologising for the problems the government has had with the jab roll-out – but he has today admitted that he is willing to ‘take responsibility’ – a Prime Ministerial duty that he has shown no interest in until now.
“I take responsibility for the problems that we have had but I am also taking responsibility for the solutions” Mr Morrison said, with his eyes to the ground.
However, despite his ability to warp roll-out stats so that they sound euphoric victories while demanding Australia be thankful for his existence, Morrison’s media appearance was today wasted on the public.
It would seem the average voter still thinks Scotty has been hiding since he went to England, this because he hasn’t had anything constructive or exciting to say at any of his three press conferences over the last two months.
Today’s appearance was mostly about pride, after Kevin Rudd dragged him kicking and screaming out of Kirribilli House to face the music.
This follows the news that Kevin has relocated from his home in Brisbane back to the secondary official residence of the Prime Minister of Australia, in an effort to help mentor Scotty in his duties as leader, and as a man.
Rudd was forced to step out of retirement to return to unofficial duties as an Australian statesmen in June, after he was approached by senior business figures who begged him to take over the negotiations with multinational pharmaceutical suppliers in an effort to accelerate our nation’s bungled jab roll-out.
Australia’s stand-in father figure was showing tough love to his flakey successor, as he pushed him in front of the cameras this afternoon.
Scotty From Marketing attempting to meander back inside several times as he began circling in the front garden like a kid whose mum has marched him straight back inside to apologise to the Woolies staff for stealing minties.
“No no no you don’t!” chuckled Grandpa Kev, as he wrangled the PM in front of the media scrum.
Scotty looked at his toes as he began taking questions
“Oi!” scowled Kev, putting his knee into Scotty’s back.
“Look them in the eyes when they’re talking to you!”