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EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Local child Sam Turbot cannot seem to catch a break. Not only did she mess up an important part of her English assignment but her mate Sally also has the shits with her - which may or may not be completely Sam’s fault, but she’s not in the mood for self-reflection right now. It’s alleged her morning had...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact Year 10 students at Betoota Public High received education with a devilish twist today. According to his peers, Ronald Leighton (54) is a highly regarded member of staff with an 18 year tenure whose passion for education is outmatched only by his passion for staff trips to wine country. “What he lacks in fingers he makes up for in gusto,”...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact In a historic moment for the nation, Josh Frydenberg is set to deliver a landmark budget tomorrow night. For the first time, the Federal Treasurer of a Coalition government is set to hand down a budget that hasn't been officially signed off by the fossil fuels industry. Traditionally, the annual federal budget is handed to the heads of...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact In a sad reminder of the consequences of a life well-lived, Flight Path grandfather of eight, Bob Gardener (81), is losing his hearing, possibly due to his fascination with visiting airshows without using earbuds.  The gradual loss of his hearing has been heartbreaking for his loving family with the exception of his wife of 54 years Edna Gardener (79)...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT A large group of partygoers have unknowingly entered a space in kickons time continuum known as the ‘dnm zone’ or ‘some strangers kitchen’, as it’s commonly known. It’s alleged the group of ravers had been chatting about times they’d gotten on the gear when the light-hearted talk was interrupted by a mysterious looking bloke no one could recognise. Standing at...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT The Land Speed Record has again been set in Australia, marking the first time a successful attempt on the record has been made here since 1964. In that year, Englishman Donald Campbell set a new record of 648.73km/h in ‘Bluebird’ on Lake Eyre. This was the only time since 1927 that the record had not been set in...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact In the latest tale of survival, Brisbane dad Ian Grey has sent an urgent message to his Byron Bay based adult children to warn them about the active Covid cases 1000kms south of them in Sydney.  Having allowed his children to explore creativity and arts Grey was hardly surprised when his three offspring partook in the natural migration to...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact In some concerning news for the residents of Newcastle Sydney and Wollongong (NSW), Premier Gladys Berejiklian has confirmed an active case of the spicy cough. The case was confirmed today, after the man was tested yesterday. The man, who is in his 50s is said to have acquired the case locally, and is believed to have been infectious...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact After the roaring success of the Indian travel ban, the Federal Government has revealed a new immigration policy today. Speaking from Canberra this morning, Home Affairs Minister Karen Andrews announced the introduction of the Bunnings Paint Swatch test. "Commencing on Monday next week, all border control officers will use mandatory paint swatches to determine whether to allow people...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Brisbane's West End has just launched an exciting new festival, which has inner city creatives and public servants incredibly excited this week. In a real sign of the times, the hippy capital of the state is hosting a giant Tofu/Tempeh Week - which they hope will one day take over from Rockhampton's Beef Week. "It's already the largest...