IN-Focus

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIt can be confirmed that the woke lefties have managed to have a win in the UK after all, having managed to infiltrate the royal kingdom with their silly identity politics just days after a female Prime Minister was announced. As news broke across the world that Queen Elizabeth II had died this morning, the UK was left with...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Grove mother of three has shared a touching meme today that conveys her deep sense of sadness at the passing of Queen Elizabeth II. Through the medium of Minions, Denise Wonga said she was one sad mum today and that's about it. The retired nurse declined to speak to The Advocate today regarding the...

RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact The listing price of a single-roomed luxury apartment in Betoota’s flight path district has doubled after Real Estate Agency, Carton’s Real Estate, listed the property online using strong descriptive language. According to the Agency’s website, the single-roomed apartment includes ‘architecturally designed free flowing spaces beloved for their flexibility and endless possibilities’. The modern open plan layout ‘toys with a...

HARVEY THOMAS | Opinion | ContactHARK, THE BELL TOLLS AGAIN BUT NOT FOR WHOM BUT FOR I.IT APPEARS THAT I HAVE RUSTLED THE PLANT BASED LEAVES OF THE WOKE MINORITIES (WHO ARE LITERALLY A MAJORITY IF I’M TO BE BELIEVED) AND NOW JUST BECAUSE OF MY AGE, RACE, AND DELIBERATELY IRKSOME OPINIONS I HAVE BEEN CANCELLED.WHERE ONCE I TOWERED OVER ALL LIKE THE...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local law firm has today gone above and beyond to show just how much they appreciate their employees, by placing a few cartons of R U OK cupcakes in the break room and making sure to upload plenty of photos of them to LinkedIn. Located in the tallest building in the CBD, Hunter Global is considered the most...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A French Quarter finance worker assured officers from the City of Betoota Municipal Police this afternoon that the small bag of white powder he had on him was a harmless anti-inflammatory drug and nothing nefarious as the police will allege in court. Dale Jane Cooper, of Riverrun Street in Betoota Heights, was arrested shortly...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of the many new faces around Manuka's Public Bar has made sure to pack his RMs for an upcoming visit to embattled citrus farmers in the Victorian Mallee country next week. Lewis Garity is a policy advisor to the Federal Agriculture Minister, Murray Watt. That's despite having a limited practical understanding of primary production...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister has reassured a worried public today by telling Australians that things might get better one day. Speaking to Parliament, Anthony Albanese said you never know what's around the corner when it comes to your own personal circumstances and that perhaps things will change for the better. "Don't worry," said Mr Albanese. "Things might get...

RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact For off-the-plan apartment buyers, signing that contract has become one of the biggest gambles you can make. That’s because there is now a 50/50 chance you’ll either get what you paid for, a home, or end up homeless and broke after an expensive legal battle seeking compensation for the uninhabitable building’s countless defects. But thanks to...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA bloke whose scandals including glassing his fiancé, cheating on his pregnant wife and sexually assaulting a stranger has now found himself facing another controversy, this time, for not being enough of a disgusting pig. Former ball thrower Wayne Carey is said to have been banned from entering any of Crown’s facilities for two years, because he failed to...