Local landscaper Dennis Falchi (65) has an important message to share with his employees who are forced to listen to his opinions.

After brickie James Bryce (26) announced his engagement during Monday smoko, Falchi began speaking about the hilarious prison of heterosexual marriage based on his own experiences of entering into a legally binding contract with a woman whose dreams he has ruined.

“40 years I’ve been married! Mate, you get less for murder!” laughed Falchi as his large belly his wife no longer finds attractive shook with glee.

“That’s a life sentence!”

While newly engaged Bryce stated he was not offended by Falchi’s comments he claims to find them a bit rich as his boss has visibly destroyed every one of his wife’s dreams.

“I don’t know how Carol lives with Denny,” stated Bryce.

“She was a talented musician apparently but had to move her studio so Denny could set up a man cave. It made State of Origin so awkward.”

Falchi’s anti-marriage tirade appears to be another rant in a series of gags that are equally a cry for help as they are a cruel joke at the expense of a woman who sacrificed her autonomy so her husband’s business could be successful.

“You getting some strippers for this bucks or what?”

At the time of writing Falchi has not been formally invited to Bryce’s bucks party.


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