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In some news from the dimly lit board rooms of Wall Street and the United Nations building, the men and women who run the ‘Big Mask Lobby’ are today celebrating.

After months of manipulating health authorities around the world, the people behind the powerful lobby have finally gotten their man.

This comes as US President Donald Trump finally wore a mask over the weekend, after months of refusing to wear the pretty universally accepted piece of protective clothing.

That significant move, and the growing calls around Australia and other countries for masks to be mandatory, now has the Big Mask Lobby getting ready to reap the rewards of all their hard work.

“Finally,” sighed a faceless member of the lobby named Liz Ardman.

“After working with the Bill Gates Foundation and the 5G lobby on the virus for months we successfully managed to have it spread into a global pandemic,” Ardman said.

“And now people are finally starting to submit to the underlying motivation behind it – the masks.”

“Mission accomplished. Our friends over at the United Nations are overjoyed too.”

“I can’t believe only a few people on the internet realised what was going on and called us out for blatantly distorting medical information and manipulating health authorities to sell bulk masks to the masses.”

“I’ll drink to that,”

Liz Ardman then revealed that she wasn’t sure how much more active the Big Mask Lobby would be from here on out, but was tempted to take up a role with the High-Speed Rail Lobby here in Australia.

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