ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Treasurer Jim Chalmers has issued a grim forecast this morning in Canberra.

In a brief statement to the media, Treasurer Chalmers outlined the challenges of bringing inflation in line without taxing businesses making excessive profits and wealthy Australians investing in property.

“It’s honestly harder than the radio control helicopter mission in Vice City,” he said.

“You know the one where you have to fly that mini-helicopter into the construction site for that Texan guy and drop all those bombs everywhere? Trying to keep the economy fair for everyone while dealing with landlords and giant corporations is much more challenging than that mission. It might even seem to people that we don’t want to maintain a tight lid on inflation, and that might actually be accurate. Who knows?”

“What I do know is that what we’re currently doing seems to be working. However, it’s not doing much to combat inflation. We’re leaving the Reserve Bank exposed on that front. We’re attempting to stimulate the economy by focusing on growth in Western Sydney and North Melbourne, as if we were weekend warriors using a giant scoop of Spakfilla to fill a small hole in a wall. It’s not just immigration; it’s also the result of 25 years of inaction on public housing, which we’re trying to address. Unfortunately, the Greens are making it difficult for everyone.”

“It’s as if they don’t understand how neo-liberalism functions. In order for some people in the economy to live a high standard of life, others have to suffer. If you disagree with this concept, then vote for the Greens. I don’t care. But many people believe they are or will become part of the majority that won’t have to suffer, so good luck with that.”

“Hopefully, it works out for everyone. But it’ll probably work out for more than half of you, so don’t expect much more in terms of fiscal genie lamp rubbing from me until our next term of government.”

More to come.


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