After just 35 minutes in the pub, every person sitting at the table reserved for Out-Bush magazine’s quarterly staff drinks have decided to pack in.

With what looked to be an endless bar tab and a good crowd solid drinkers and – Managing Director, Ben Bridle, can’t understand what went wrong.

“I’d been down the street buying a pack of smokes,”

“By the time I rushed back… I only caught the last of them. I thought we were gonna turn on one. I was paying for everything.”

By the time Mr Bridle had returned from the local convenience store he, just about everyone in the office had left the table – leaving only the newly appointed unpaid intern and Sarah from HR.

“Sarah had a very serious look on her face and the Jacob [intern] looked like he was about to cry,” said Bridle.

“Turns out he’s fucked everything up after buying the first round. I should have known that he wasn’t mature enough to handle the company card,”

It is believed that Jacob the intern (19) was met with severe hostility and disgust by the rest of the office after he decided to buy 12 x pints of Phantom Brewers Passionfruit Lager.

“I had to file and incident report with HR. The kid got a very serious warning about forcing personal beliefs onto other staff members.” said a cranky Bridle, who was ready to really turn one on.

“Fuck it, I might go ahead and fire the little prick,”

“It’s just not acceptable. I should have left the card with Kev from accounts – he knows a real beer.”


  1. Sweet christ, Clancy. Please, for the love of anything, literally anything in the entire world, learn to proper grammar to use in your “articles”. I feel dumber for reading this. So many mistakes. Are you 9 years old? We’re you dropped on your head as a baby?

  2. Sweet Christ Clancy. Please, for the love of anything – literally anything in the world – learn how to delete comments from ‘pot, kettle, blacks’ like the one above (or, depending on where this comment ends up, below) and ban the fuck out of them.
    I don’t care if they’re only nine years old and were dropped on the head as a baby. Boot the kents!

  3. I would agree but the irony of poor writing in a comment attacking someone else’s writing is just too good.

    “learn to proper grammar to use in your”

    I mean it’s base irony but I’ll take it.

  4. I rather enjoy it when there are a few clangers in the article. Make me feel not so bad when I think of my pitiful one finger typing skills.

  5. Ummmmmm…..
    Was it ’cause they were pints and not half-pints? You know, with them Aussies bein’ the Thalidomide Stump Sucking light-weights that they are and a whole pint sure to induce projectile emesis.

  6. Well fuck me from behind with a rebar reinforced didgeridoo, but crikey, I would have thought my ‘Thalidomide’ derogation would have offended the sensitivities of masses of the “Down-Udder” crowd – the thrush-festooned and prolapsed-cunts that they are.



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here