LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

A journalist has made a contribution to their future far greater than the superannuation they’ll eventually have to dig into to buy a banh mi by writing a positive story about Peter Dutton.

Since becoming Liberal Party leader, a few positive stories have appeared about the former QLD copper, aiming to convince the public that this professional child frightener is actually a sweet potato deserving of love.

One such journalist is Nine Fairfax columnist Ludwig Harrelton (53) who hopes that currying favour with Australia’s first Divine Leader will earn him a spot in the Ministry of Information rather than a spot in a mass grave with crippling rent payments.

“I think I am one of billions of Australians who are excited to see what will come from a government led by PeDut,” stated Harrelton, proving that an affectionate nickname is not for everyone.

“Who doesn’t love a smile full of teeth like that?” 

“When he comes on the TV my pomeranians bark and bark at him to show their approval. It’s really loud, let me tell you!”

Harrelton is just one of many male journalists who are trying to win favour with the future leaders of the DROA while female journalists are simply making the most out of being allowed to read and write for the time being.

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