ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

If you are fully-jabbed against the Pangolin’s Wrath but are having trouble getting the so-called ‘vaccine passport’ linked to your mobile telephone, then you’re a fucking idiot according to the Federal Government.

Federal Health Minister Greg Hunt spoke to the media this morning in Canberra, where he fielded questions regarding the difficulty that hundreds of thousands of Australians are having in linking their Medicare to their MyGov account.

“Well, if Craig Kelly and Clive Palmer can do it, then so can some bongo-slapping leftie with a bachelors in basket weaving,” he said.

“Think of this task as a bit of an IQ test. If you can do it without getting on the phone and waiting three hours to have a sook to someone who doesn’t get paid enough to have a sook then you’re an old-fashioned moron,”

“We designed this system to be so easy that even the most entitled and petulant Baby Boomer can get it going without having to get someone else to do it,”

“I mean, how hard is it? You just answer the questions the website asks you and you’re away.”

When asked by a reporter if it was, perhaps, the government’s fault for picking the lowest tender in the MyGov design process, Greg Hunt said no.

“If I can do it, so can you.”

More to come.


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