INGRID DOULTON | In Focus | Contact

The world’s richest and most exclusive horse-race-on-turf will happen in Sydney this weekend – then something equally as controversial and divisive will happen the next.

That’s the message from a number of betting agencies around the country today as they begin to take odds on what will be the next destination of the outrage train next week.

The Advocate spoke to a number of representatives from local online betting agencies today in the function room of the Betoota Dolphins Leagues Club.

SportsBet, a popular online bookie built on the back of crippling addiction and the bad fortune off millions, has a federal politician making a climate-related gaffe next week as their favourite.

“Other things in that field include the betting agencies ourselves having their week on the receiving end of the outrage brigade,” said a soulless SportsBet representative.

“There’s a whole smorgasbord of horrible, reprehensible shit that’s currently happening around the country right now. It’s hard to put good odds on just one thing,”

“If you told me there’d be people down at Circular Quay shining their mobile phone light at the fucking Opera House last night in protest, I would’ve laughed. But there were – and that’s the most depressingly pathetic thing I’ve heard in a while.”

A Ladbrokes sales suitcuck then chimed in with his opinion.

“They’ve got suicide netting around the factory where those phones are made. Why don’t they protest that? Those $39 chinos they wear, those same chinos that have piss all down the front of them after being in the wind last night. How do you think things that cheap are made? By Bangladeshi slaves! Do you they care about that? No, they care about rich people advertising their horse race on fucking concert hall. This world is fucked up,” he said.

“Our favourite to cause the most outrage next week is something related to the ABC. We think Greg Hywood, the guy who drove Fairfax Media into a roadside gum tree, will probably get the top job, which in turn will piss a lot of people off. That’s our tip,”

The PalmerBet representative was standing at the other end of the function room, smelling the whiteboard markers and laughing to himself.

“You’re all wrong,” he said.

“It’ll be about the Roosters breaking the salary cap. We’re offering $1.04 on it. We’ve got the good oil.”

He then sat down on the floor and let a bit of drool slip out of his mouth.

More to come.


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