Malcolm Turnbull proves he’s human after admitting he farts in bed

"Have you noticed that farts smell different in the bath like they do in bed?" he said.

Malcolm Turnbull proves he’s human after admitting he farts in bed

17 June, 2016. 13:34

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

JUST DAYS AFTER THE Courier-Mail¬†reported that the prime minister is a humanoid reptilian sent from the future to enslave us all, Malcolm Turnbull has laughed off the allegations – saying he’s ‘fully human’ and he even farts in bed like normal people do.

“The only positive thing that The Courier-Mail does is wrap up fish and chips down on the bay,” said the PM.

“Of course I’m not a lizard, I am a real person. I even fart in bed,”

“Let’s not see this campaign be hijacked by frivolity and half-truths,” he said.

Rumours began to ciruclate surrounding the Coalition leader’s species after he began to violently flip-flop politically like a herpes-riddled carp on a riverbank. Various tabloid newspapers around the country started reporting that the PM was a lizard person in the wake of these flip-flops, because only something as slick and slippery as a reptilian could sell himself down the river so quickly.

With additional reporting from The Guardian Australia.