A friendly local Christian man, Andy Sinoto, is about to experience the worst 24 hours of his life, it has been confirmed.

As a keen community man and devout supporter of both the church and his district’s football club – Mr Sinoto has thrown his hand up and volunteered as the designated driver for this weekend’s footy trip to Bourke.

“My family have always supported the Betoota Dolphins, but I was never much of a player,”

“Thought I could throw my hand up and drive the bus this weekend because the usual guy pulled out,”

However, as someone who hasn’t played football since under-15s, what Andy doesn’t know is that majority of the first and second grade players are using this weekend’s trial tournament as an excuse to drink as much alcohol as humanly possible before returning home to their families.

“He has no idea,” says club captain, Jack Cort.

“No idea at all. This Bourke trip happens every second year and it is nothing but a write off. We barely even play that much footy in the tournament,”

“I can guarantee there will be people opening cans before we even pull out the driveway tomorrow morning,”

As a substitute primary teacher, Andy says he could easily use the $250 the club has offered to pay him to remain sober for the next days.

“It’ll be fine. I’ll head out with them after the match – maybe get a bite to eat. And then I’ll wake them up in the morning when it’s time to head back. I’m sure there might be a few sore heads but that’s all part of it,”

Local pisswreck, Benny Rhine, says that “grog is the last thing he should be worried about”.

“Mate, Gobbler has lined up about 100 pingers. We organised the same thing last time and finished them before we even got there [laughter]”

“This bloke is going to be playing a babysitter to 30 belligerent men that he doesn’t know that well. I can guarantee you he will not be volunteering for this job again.”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here