Local Cyclist Wishes Australia Was More Like Denmark Just Without The National Service

"Brisbane has a lot of hills, but I have huge calves." he said.

Local Cyclist Wishes Australia Was More Like Denmark Just Without The National Service

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

NEARLY 9 IN 10 BRISBANESE PEOPLE believe that the best place for a cyclist is under the 555 bus to Sunnybank, but that hasn’t stopped one local wanker from bringing a little bit of Danish culture to the River capital.

Micha Bradley even purchased the pedal vehicle online from a small, artisan manufacturer in Copenhagen (København)  back in 2011. Since then, his calves have grown and his commute from the cosmopolitan enclave of Sherwood to the city has become a joy, rather than a necessary chore.

“I guess I’m the only person in Brisbane that doesn’t own a car!” said the 27-year-old Hutchinson project manager. “All the Kiwi boys at work put shit on me for riding a bike, but they don’t know the health benefits that come from daily exercise. Scaffolding isn’t real exercise.”

However, things weren’t always as rosy for the former convicted arsonist.

Bradley revealed to The Advocate that he misspent his youth getting up to no good with his rough-and-tumble mates from a government school.

“At my worst, I was chroming seven tins of Lynx Dark Temptation at day,” he explained.

“My lungs would’ve looked like garbage bags, I was in a bad way. But then I found my calling in life. Danish cargo bikes.” he said.

The full-time-stay-at-home-son’s father also had a few choice comments regarding his boy’s new hobby, saying that his wife of 30 years has given up all hope of holding a grandchild.

Gil Brady explained that Bradley’s fascination with cargo bikes has had a negative impact on his life, with his mates down at the Indooroopilly Hotel struggling to contain their laughter each time he gets a lift with him to the pub.

 

While Micha wishes Australia was more like Copenhagen, with the flat roads and a respected cycling culture, he does admit that he would much prefer to have spent his youth chroming Lynx than to give back to the community.

“Yeah, National Service is fucked”

“I did my national service. I was in the Red Frogs for a year as a part of community service after I got pinched putting up a few panels at the Rocklea train station”

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