Local Man Spends Entire First Date Disputing Mainstream Account Of 9/11

Local Man Spends Entire First Date Disputing Mainstream Account Of 9/11

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact

North Betoota man, Chris Frith, says that the idea of once again spending Christmas alone is not something that bothers him. In fact it is the last thing that bothers him.

Chris is an adherent of the 9/11 Truth movement, just one of many theorists from around the world who dispute the mainstream account of the September 11 attacks of 2001.

Chris Frith, Vodafone Sales Manager and devout "Truther" ruins yet another date
Chris Frith, Vodafone Sales Manager and devout “Truther” ruins yet another date with a local woman who refuses to acknowledge the “truth”

“Blind dates, beach holidays, professional sport… these are just the things that sheep use to block out the truth,”

“Yeah, I’ve ruined a few dates by bringing this stuff up – but so what. I would rather connect with a partner who knows the truth. I’ve met plenty of them online,”

The “Truthers”, as they are commonly known online, dispute the commonly accepted account that Al-Qaeda terrorists hijacked four airliners, crashed them into the Pentagon and the World Trade Centre, whereupon the crashes led to the collapse of the Twin Towers.

“Truthers” primarily focus on what they claim are significant inconsistencies in that explanation, suggesting at the least a cover-up and, at most, complicity by insiders.

Truthers march in NYC to protest against the mainstream account of 9/11
Truthers march in NYC to protest against the mainstream account of 9/11

Chris says that most girls don’t call him back when he brings up the studies he has conducted on international oil dynasties and the physics of what would be required to actually bring down two structurally sound skyscrapers.
“My brother’s wife set me up on another lame date the other night with some dumb chick who refused to acknowledge the truth,”

“It came up early on in the date, when we were talking about all the recent terrorism in the Middle East… Obviously she didn’t know much, because I had to inform her that 9/11 was actually an inside job,”
Chris believes people are quick to question his theories but his response to them is simple.

“I just say to them… How did the buildings collapse, exactly?”

“Most of them say it was from the planes. That’s when I tell them that jet fuel can’t melt steel beams,”

Chris Frith's car in his North Betoota driveway.
Chris Frith’s car in his North Betoota driveway.

“I’ve seen enough videos on Youtube and read enough independent commissions surrounding the attacks to actually be an authority on this subject. I can’t believe people actually think it was terrorism,”

“The only terrorists involved in 9/11 were the American Government,”

Chris says he plans to spend Valentines Day at home, while working on his conspiracy blog alone.

“Oh no! look at me! I don’t have a Valentine for some stupid calendar date,” Chris said.

“Everyone knows that Valentines Day is just another ploy by corporations to convince us to buy more flowers and chocolate. Man, people are such sheep.”

3 Responses to "Local Man Spends Entire First Date Disputing Mainstream Account Of 9/11"

  1. bleedingassholegeoff   February 13, 2015 at 10:00 am

    Parrots in my anus
    Cats in my ears
    I haven’t farted in 15 years

    Bacon flavoured condoms
    And barbeque tongs
    I like to shave my testicles in nothing but thongs

    Pinecones for breakfast,
    Golfballs and cheese
    Ive rubbed my penis on numerous trees

    Reply
  2. morgan freeman   March 10, 2015 at 1:45 pm

    I love that poem tho
    I fap to it excessively
    porn anoos bitches make cow porn go yawn cocaine

    Reply

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