ABS Warns Yes Votes Don’t Count Unless They’re Instagramed With Caption And Emojis

ABS Warns Yes Votes Don’t Count Unless They’re Instagramed With Caption And Emojis

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Sending off your same-sex marriage survey response without instagraming yourself filling it in, or placing the envelope into the post box may render the vote ineligible, the Australian Bureau of Statistics has confirmed. As Australia takes part in a voluntary postal survey on the issue of same-sex marriage. The Australian Bureau of Statistics […]

Osher Escorted Off Set Of Bachelor After Literally Cutting The Tension With A Knife

Osher Escorted Off Set Of Bachelor After Literally Cutting The Tension With A Knife

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Uh OH! Matty has dumped Australia’s favourite #BACHELORAU contestant Tara, only to be met with a flood of angry tweets from people who are actually emotionally invested in which Gold Coast-based Instagram model this robot decides to spend the next 6 months with, This means there’s two left. Elise and Laura. Who’s it […]

Report: Walking Into Someone’s Photo Is Fine As Long As You Half-Heartedly Duck

Report: Walking Into Someone’s Photo Is Fine As Long As You Half-Heartedly Duck

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by the Australian Institute For Tourism Photography has found that the obviously unavoidable occurrence of walking in between a photographer and their subject is 100% okay, as long as you acknowledge what you are doing by half-heartedly ducking. Accidentally walking into photos has been an issue plaguing tourists and residents […]

New LinkedIn Photo Bringing In Shitloads Of Work

New LinkedIn Photo Bringing In Shitloads Of Work

BERT MALLEY | Local | CONTACT Looking perky in a popped-button business shirt and blue blazer, in front of a plain white background, financial relationship manager Ron Frankham has reported an uptick in interest thanks to a change in his social media profile. “My old photo was the same as my Facebook one,” he said, “and it was a […]

WTF? Some People Actually Don’t Know How To Swim, Like Fully Grown Adults

WTF? Some People Actually Don’t Know How To Swim, Like Fully Grown Adults

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Aside from migrants and bushies who originate from landlocked, drought stricken terrains – there is actually a population of Australians who don’t know how to swim. Like people that grew up around relatively large bodies of water who just never learnt. Recent findings by the YMCA show that roughly 25% of Australians over […]

Report: Big Mouth Billy Bass Still Good For A Laugh

Report: Big Mouth Billy Bass Still Good For A Laugh

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by the AHBA (Australian Home Bars Association) has found that the popular late nineties novelty gift ‘Big Mouth Billy Bass’ is still fucking funny, even if you’ve seen it before. Big Mouth Billy Bass is an animatronic singing prop, representing a largemouth bass, invented on December 16, 1998, sold on January 1, 1999, and popular […]

Local Drug Dealer Sends Out Text Message Reminding Customers To Enrol To Vote

Local Drug Dealer Sends Out Text Message Reminding Customers To Enrol To Vote

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With one day left to register for the electoral commission, over 1300 companies have confirmed support marriage equality – including all the banks, all the airlines, sporting codes and some Australia’s largest retailers – it seems big business are the least concerned about the ramifications of allowing gay people to tie the knot. Aside […]

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