"Hey thanks, champ," he said. "But I can't roll, can you do it for me?"
17 January, 2017. 10:15 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact There’s always one at each party – and last Saturday night, it was Ethan Whistler. Unfortunately for the West Betoota piano tuner, he couldn’t stretch the weekly budget far enough to include his usual assorted box of cleanskin whites and a man-sized packet of Horizon […]
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Newcastle steelworker, Gary Johns (42), has found himself thinking about the best years of his life again. The nineties. Knowing that he’ll be in an emotional mood for the rest of the afternoon, Mr Johns says he can’t help but shake the guitar riff from Silverchair’s ‘Freak’ out of his head. “It […]
A popular Brisbane club on Ann Street in Fortitude Valley has closed its doors after 14 years of operation after it failed to upload it’s New Years Eve photos before the following weekend. Scott, the 23 year old manager who is also an entrepreneur said “1 star Facebook reviews started coming in along with abusive […]
6 January, 2017. 12:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A study commissioned by the CSIRO has found that most editions of the Courier-Mail sold in the Brisbane metro area are used to clean windows and barbeques. In addition to their use as a cleaning aid, the fledgeling newspaper is also more likely to be […]
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After another succesful Falls Festival and annual New Years Eve celebrations, Byron Bay in New South Wales’ north coast has begun the annual baggie emu parade. Byron Mayor, Banjo Clementé says this year’s clean up looks to break records. “Everyone is under the impression that this town is a […]
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has been left speechless by the actions of a 27-year-old backpacker currently working behind the bar at the Mooloolaba Surf Club. It is believed the Brazilian hospitality professional, who goes by the name of Marcelo, failed to inform Mr Joyce that the house rum was actually the […]
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the only 130 kilogram black man in his wife’s entire extended family, local Kiwi, AJ Lepepe knows he’s already going to have a polarising presence at their annual boozy Christmas lunch next week. That’s the way he likes it. He says he loves standing out, especially when it comes to talking […]
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A suspiciously nice guy within the outer social circle of local bricklayer, Bryce Hartley is either a Christian or something much sinister, the 25-year-old Birdsville resident has concluded. Bryce reckons the man in question, Andy (22) is fucking suss. “Mate, you can’t be married up at that age and not have something […]
"Yeah, but nah, mate. It's all good, but." he explained.
12 December, 2016. 15:33 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THOUGH HE RECEIVED A life ban from Fridays last year, one Yaraka man has thrown caution to the wind and decided to holiday in Mooloolaba again this summer. Banned for breaking a pool cue over some Kidman & Co hero from the Channel Country, 28-year-old […]
LEROY PERCIVAL | Music Editor | CONTACT It was panic stations in the high-rises and harbour-side mansions of Flumes management team recently as word spread that Flume, just hours before the first leg of his national tour, had left his USB stick at home. Tour promoter Jo ‘Money’ Baggs expressed his anger in an unofficial statement recently. “He has […]