Local bloke asks to ‘borrow a ciggie’ he has absolutely no intention of returning

"Hey thanks, champ," he said. "But I can't roll, can you do it for me?"

Local bloke asks to ‘borrow a ciggie’ he has absolutely no intention of returning

17 January, 2017. 10:15 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact There’s always one at each party – and last Saturday night, it was Ethan Whistler. Unfortunately for the West Betoota piano tuner, he couldn’t stretch the weekly budget far enough to include his usual assorted box of cleanskin whites and a man-sized packet of Horizon […]

Newcastle Steelworker Thinking About The Nineties Again

"It was magical mate. We had it all."

Newcastle Steelworker Thinking About The Nineties Again

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Newcastle steelworker, Gary Johns (42), has found himself thinking about the best years of his life again. The nineties. Knowing that he’ll be in an emotional mood for the rest of the afternoon, Mr Johns says he can’t help but shake the guitar riff from Silverchair’s ‘Freak’ out of his head. “It […]

Study reveals Brisbanese people more likely to clean windows with the Courier-Mail than read it

"It's news to us," said one News Corp employee.

Study reveals Brisbanese people more likely to clean windows with the Courier-Mail than read it

6 January, 2017. 12:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A study commissioned by the CSIRO has found that most editions of the Courier-Mail sold in the Brisbane metro area are used to clean windows and barbeques. In addition to their use as a cleaning aid, the fledgeling newspaper is also more likely to be […]

Barnaby Recoils In Horror As Surf Club Barman Mixes His Rum & Coke With Havana Club

"What is wrong with you?" he whispers.

Barnaby Recoils In Horror As Surf Club Barman Mixes His Rum & Coke With Havana Club

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has been left speechless by the actions of a 27-year-old backpacker currently working behind the bar at the Mooloolaba Surf Club. It is believed the Brazilian hospitality professional, who goes by the name of Marcelo, failed to inform Mr Joyce that the house rum was actually the […]

Kiwi Bloke Pumped To Fire Off Some Agitating Rugby Stats At Aussie In-Laws This Xmas

"This is gonna be so fucking good"

Kiwi Bloke Pumped To Fire Off Some Agitating Rugby Stats At Aussie In-Laws This Xmas

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the only 130 kilogram black man in his wife’s entire extended family, local Kiwi, AJ Lepepe knows he’s already going to have a polarising presence at their annual boozy Christmas lunch next week. That’s the way he likes it. He says he loves standing out, especially when it comes to talking […]

Suspiciously Nice Bloke Probably Just Another Lame Christian, Or Sexual Offender

"Something funny is going on"

Suspiciously Nice Bloke Probably Just Another Lame Christian, Or Sexual Offender

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A suspiciously nice guy within the outer social circle of local bricklayer, Bryce Hartley is either a Christian or something much sinister, the 25-year-old Birdsville resident has concluded. Bryce reckons the man in question, Andy (22) is fucking suss. “Mate, you can’t be married up at that age and not have something […]

Country gent looking forward to another summer of getting dumped in the surf

"Yeah, but nah, mate. It's all good, but." he explained.

Country gent looking forward to another summer of getting dumped in the surf

12 December, 2016. 15:33 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THOUGH HE RECEIVED A life ban from Fridays last year, one Yaraka man has thrown caution to the wind and decided to holiday in Mooloolaba again this summer. Banned for breaking a pool cue over some Kidman & Co hero from the Channel Country, 28-year-old […]

Flume’s Sydney Concert Held Up Waiting For Mum To Drop Off Spare USB From Newport

Flume’s Sydney Concert Held Up Waiting For Mum To Drop Off Spare USB From Newport

LEROY PERCIVAL | Music Editor | CONTACT It was panic stations in the high-rises and harbour-side mansions of Flumes management team recently as word spread that Flume, just hours before the first leg of his national tour, had left his USB stick at home. Tour promoter Jo ‘Money’ Baggs expressed his anger in an unofficial statement recently. “He has […]

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