20 June, 2016. 13:45

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

THE PRIME MINISTER HAS personally asked his Treasurer to stop vaping in plain view of journalists and other media professionals.

Scott Morrison, despite never smoking, has taken up vaping in recent weeks to cope with the added stresses of a re-election campaign.

This has begun to upset the opposition leader, who says the entire country knows the Treasurer vapes and there’s “no need to put it on public display every ten minutes.”

“We get it, Scotty. You vape,” said Shorten.

“But why don’t you put that thing away and get back to work derailing the economy, you sucked mango seed.”

Speaking this morning from Parliament House, Mr Morrison took questions from a small number of reporters still present in the capital.

“You know I can’t answer that, Liza,” breathed Morrison as he blew a cloud of apple-scented smog into the face of the ABC’s Eliza Borrello.

“Next question.”

Due to a myriad of reasons, namely budget cuts and shortcomings, Channel 10 sent weatherman Tim Bailey to attend the press conference, which drew more than a small amount of criticism from Morrison.

Mr Bailey began asking his question as the Treasurer started inhaling deeply from his vaporiser.

When he was done, Morrison blew a thick, sickly stream of water vapor into Bailey’s face.

“Who let you in here?” he said calmly. “Was it you, Eliza?”

“Get out of here, Bailey. You’re post-mix Pepsi down here,”

“Next question.”

With additional reporting from The Canberra Times.




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