A recent report by Queensland Tourism has today confirmed that people from outside the City of Brisbane are very confused by Kurilpa Bridge.

The report surveyed over 800 visitors about their experiences in the city oft-dubbed by locals as ‘Bris-Vegas.’

While many did ask why fuck all restaurants were open in the CBD at night and there was an overpowering smell of essential oils in West End, the majority asked what was going on with Kurilpa Bridge.

The Kurilpa Bridge is a $63 million dollar pedestrian and bikeway that crosses the much loved Brown Snake and joins Kurilpa Point to the city’s CBD.

“Is that leftover flood damage,” asked one inter-state tourist. “What the fucks going on with all the shit on it? Did they never get round to cleaning up after those floods? Did they leave it there on purpose?” asked another.

A spokesperson for Queensland Tourism told us that nearly 90% of all respondents asked similar questions.

“Everyone seems to be confused by the award-winning piece of architecture that is Kurilpa Bridge,” she said. “I guess that means that the architect that got paid a stack of cash and made life hard for a few engineers got it right,” she laughed. “Weird that they all think that we would have left bits of debris on a popular thoroughfare for 7 years, but whatever.”


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