A random half-pissed man in a prominent Perth hotel has broken free from his chains of conformity today and held an entire conversation without offering to sell any prescription medicines to out-of-towners.

“It was a real shock” said local tourist, Otto Towner (27).

“We spoke about football and the weather for like twenty minutes and then he just told us to enjoy our stay and he went back to the bar”

“It was like nothing we’ve ever seen before”

“Dexamfetamines weren’t brought up once”

Dextroamphetamine is a potent central nervous system stimulant and amphetamine enantiomer that is prescribed for the treatment of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and narcolepsy.

It is also used as an athletic performance and cognitive enhancer – and in Western Australia, recreationally as an aphrodisiac and euphoriant, for some reason.

The Perth man at the centre of this bizarre incident, Ned Lands (24) says it’s a new thing he’s been trying out.

“I’ve realised that actually some people visiting Perth are more interested in the beaches and wine, and not so much the high-grade stimulants that my mate has 34 scripts for” he said.

“I mean I’m still very proud of my ability to sort out dexies for strangers, and I’m also very proud of their accessibility in my city – but, I’ve found that some people just don’t like abusing scribbos like we do in Perth”

“I hope they have a good time regardless”



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