IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor| Contact

In light of Rugby Australia’s decision to find Wallabies fullback Israel Folau guilty of a high-level breach of policy over an Instagram post he made two months ago, The Advocate has compiled a set of criteria to help you spend some time in young Issy’s shoes.

The 30-year-old naturalised Queenslander revealed to our reporters earlier last year that he’s suffered up to seven concussions over the course of his professional rugby career – the 7th around the same time he started to post homophobic things.

Enjoying seven concussions before your 30th birthday is considered a rite of passage for many young Australian men, making this scale not out of the norm for the majority of the nation’s lesser species.

So starting at zero, please rate yourself on a scale from here to Israel Folau.

Zero

Upon receiving your seventh concussion, you’ve retained the ability to distinguish the difference between the real world and one that exists in a 2000-year-old book.

1.

Waking up from the seventh concussion, you say you have lots of gay friends but could never see yourself engaging in any form of homosexual intercourse because it’s ‘gross’.

2.

At this point on the scale, acceptance of homosexuals and their lifestyles is still present and healthy. However, evidence of a religious faith begins to emerge as the brain begins to scar over the latest bit of trauma – making you feel ‘a bit weird’ about making eye contact with a gay person.

3.

After your seventh concussion, witnessing homosexuals engage in public acts of affection make you feel uneasy and a little bit grossed out. No evidence of hate has emerged yet and you’re still able to enjoy music from popular gay musicians like Elton John and Jon Bon Jovi.

4.

At halfway, you start laughing much harder at derogatory gay jokes and find yourself using gay slurs in everyday conversations. Perhaps having to stay late after work is ‘gay’ and a footballer on an opposing team is a ‘faggot’. Either way, your friends and family start to notice a prejudice.

5.

It is at this point where many young men with seven concussions under their belt become vocally homophobic. Not just to their friends and inner social circles, but to perfect strangers. Queen’s music becomes unlistenable. Oddly, you might decided after a big night at the pub to trying an kiss one of your mates just for a laugh.

6.

There is strong evidence to suggest that at this point, other factors besides the concussions begin to have a bearing on your homophobia. Perhaps the shame of experimenting in homosexual sex has driven you to seek refuge and forgiveness in your local religious institution? Regardless, at level six, you might feel compelled to share your homophobic opinions on the internet, making finding employment or keeping it much more difficult.

Israel Folau

Despite being told not to as it’s in breach of your employment contract, you keep posting homophobic memes to your social media accounts, resulting in you rejecting a huge payout offer in lieu of receiving nothing. Finding employment becomes all but impossible in Australia, Europe or New Zealand.

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