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A Melbourne man has today thought on his feet and wasted no time since the big news.

Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews has announced measures to lift Melbourne’s lockdown after the state went a day without any new coronavirus cases for the first time since June.

Retail outlets, cafes, restaurants and bars will be able to reopen, subject to patron limits, and more than two households will be able to gather outdoors.

And the four essential reasons to leave home will be removed, allowing Melburnians to leave their home for any reason.

With things opening back up at 12:00 am tomorrow night, 42-year-old St Kilda local Fitzroy Dandenong has booked himself a table at his favourite pub for 12:01 am on the fucking dot.

“Mate, this is the first time since the Socceroos got robbed by the Italians in the 2006 World Cup that I’ve booked myself a table for midnight somewhere,” said the wound man whose been under the lockdown for 6 months.

“That was a shit night, but tomorrow’s going to be a far far far better one,” said the man whose already booked in a day of annual leave for Thursday.

“Fuck, I’ll go for as long as they’ll have me”

“This feels like a momentous occasion. Was it like that for you guys?”

Our reported said yes.

“Fuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk,” he sighed.

“I can’t believe we might be out of the woods.”

He then drifted off and said he had to go and organise who was coming to the pub with him.

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