EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

As the wait time for the doctor ticks past the half hour mark, local mum Tessa Harris finds herself in a conundrum – to satiate her boredom by flicking through some of the magazines, or hold her patience and avoid possibly sucking in a bunch of germs.

You see, if there’s one thing you can count on with Tessa, it’s that her phone is almost always flat or at least on it’s way out. An ongoing problem that’s not only inconvenient to herself, but a pain in the ass to her family who often find themselves getting cut off mid sentence when her phone carks it.

Attempting to turn on her phone, only to be met with the blinking red flat battery item, Tessa finds herself eyeballing a pile of rather sticky looking gossip magazines that all appear to be from roughly ten years ago. Which she can tell by the amount of headlines related to Brangelina, Bec Hewitt and Paris Hilton.

Trying to work out roughly the amount of time germs can stay on paper and if she’d be dealing with some simple little rhinoviruses or something nasty, like e coli, Tessa was about to reach for her nearest copy when she heard an echoey, guttural cough coming from the elderly lady behind her, who had no qualms about spraying a New Idea magazine in her phlegm.

It’s alleged Tessa had made the decision to steer clear until another fifteen minutes went by, before reaching for a Vanity Fair magazine, which she deemed would have less of a viral load.

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here