Brisbane City has recorded four new community cases in the past 24 hours, just days before the Queensland capital is set to host their first ever NRL Grand Final at Suncorp Stadium.

One of Queensland’s new cases was a truck driver who had been infectious in the community for eight days, while another was infectious for a week.

Masks are now mandatory indoors in the city, and jabs are set to be mandatory for all truck drivers using Queensland freight paths. These new public health directives are unlikely to cause any riots because Queenslanders value hosting an NRL final well above the misinformation spreading around the internet about big pharma and the UN’s New World Order.

While the NRL has put Townsville Stadium on stand-by as a potential back-up venue for the Grand Final, it seems the Queensland Premier has not yet heard about this new outbreak.

Either that, or she’s ignoring it.

“What Brisbane outbreak?” Annastacia Palaszczuk asked the media this morning, as she fronted her daily press conference with her ears blocked and a mask covering her eyes.

“I am not familiar with what you are talking about”

With the South Sydney Rabbitohs versus Penrith Panthers all booked in, and Brisbane’s pubs ready to make an absolute bomb out of this historic moment, it seems this last minute outbreak might just be ignored until after 60,000 unmasked fans get together and spit at each other for 80 minutes.

With the Premier’s sight and hearing blocked, it seems that the next 72 hours worth of public health data will not be considered in her policy making decisions.

“My job is to keep Queenslanders safe” she said.

“And I fear the backlash of not letting Brisbane host a grand final starring Wayne Bennett’s Rabbitohs might be worse than a full blown pandemic”

“No one wants to see Caxton street burnt to the ground”

“Because that’s what would happen”

When asked by a Sky News reporter if she had any plans to stop being a communist who hates the Prime Minister, Palaszczuk said she couldn’t hear that question, and was fucken thankful for it, because the only thing that makes her happier than hosting an NRL Grand Final is hosting an NRL Grand Final that doesn’t feature the NewsCorp-owned Brisbane Broncos.

“Bring on the expansion team” she said.


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