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After another successful weekend of funny outfits and rowdy spectators, the NRL has confirmed that Brisbane will continue hosting Magic Round for 2023 and 2024.

Not only was the weekend’s festival of rugby league a very welcomed reprieve from the mercilessly boring Federal Election, but also a major boost to tourism in the River City – with pubs and motels recording hosting thousands of interstate football fans.

However, one negative aspect of Magic Round that is not likely to be given much consideration is the sheer environmental damage caused by 104 enormous rugby league players running, diving and tackling each other on the turf of Suncorp Stadium for 3 days straight.

After eight matches of back-to-back rugby league, over one of the wettest weekends of the 2022, the administrators at Suncorp Stadium have had no option but to dig up the entire pitch and just chuck it into a skip bin out the back.

Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk has today fronted the media to outline the State Government’s plans to help with the disaster recovery inside the Cauldron.

“I went down there for a look earlier” said the Premier.

“My goodness. It looked like someone had discovered opals on the 22”

“Magic Round is a great weekend for Queensland, and Brisbane, but by Joh we will be flat chat today to repair that ground before next weekend’s Super Rugby and NRL fixtures”

Working alongside the NRL and Suncorp, the Queensland Government are today chartering four Sikorsky CH-53E Super Stallion military helicopters to relocate a new pitch from one of the Brisbane Broncos suburban feeder clubs.

It is believed that the mighty Wynnum Manly Seagulls have been identified as the unfortunate QCup side that will be donating their homeground to the NRL, with several tonnes of glad-wrapped soil and turf expected to by choppered in from Brisbane’s bayside just after lunch.

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