CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
If you have been unlucky enough to be exposed to an English person in the last 48 hours, you would be very aware of that there is a slight chance of it coming home.
And by ‘it’s coming home’ they mean football, as the entire British diaspora lay claim to inventing the fairly basic concept of kicking a rolling object between post as a form of sport.
“Three Lions”, also referred to as “It’s Coming Home” or “Football’s Coming Home”, is a song by English comedy-rock band Lightning Seeds. It was released in 1996, to mark the England football team’s participation in that year’s UEFA European Championship, which England was also hosting.
Since its release, the song has become the unofficial anthem for English football. Its chorus “It’s coming home” has become a popular chant for fans at England games, and pommie blokes who work in recruiting and marketing in Australia.
While the expression last reared its head in 2018 when England thought they were a chance of winning the FIFA World Cup, it disappeared almost instantly after their hopes were dashed in the semi-finals against Croatia.
However, with the help of a few laser pointers in the last few matches of the 2021 Euros, the expression is unfortunately back with a vengeance.
England will play Italy in the Euro 2020 final after beating Denmark 2-1 after extra time at Wembley.
And just like 2018, every Englishman and woman in the world are counting their chickens before the hatch against the slick Italian outfit.
However, with all this talk of it coming home, no one has bothered to ask football if that’s what football wants.
“Absolutely not, innit” Football told the Betoota Advocate earlier today, after being asked if they saw a life in back in England as of this weekend.
“I’m the world game now. I’ve spent the last few years in the South of France…”
“Before that I was jumping around South America”
“Why would I want to go home? Where will they keep me anyway? Fucking Slough?’
Football sighed recounting the scenes they’d witnessed in the packed corona-infested pubs of England.
“Have you ever been to the fucking Amalfi Coast, bruv”
“I prefer my fish in pasta, not eight inches of flour batter”
