The critically endangered Australian footballing code of rugby union is once again looking to the world champion New Zealanders for tips on how to maintain a winning culture amongst the entitled and overpaid Wallabies

With the All Blacks losing just 8 games in the last 7 years, those on Australian soil are still searching for that magic potion to create a group of players who cherish the national jersey and everything that comes with it, so much so that they, the players, don’t feel the need to pursue ego-driven agendas.

The All Blacks setup, that would immediately refuse to pick anyone who thought they were bigger than the team and look to push them overseas to the riches of European rugby if they carried on in the slightest, is being asked today just how they stop their players from carrying on like fuckwits and bringing the game into disrepute.

“How do we stop players from giving the middle finger to team culture and refuse to acknowledge the importance of playing for their province and country?” an All Blacks insider repeated back to us today.

“Oh, um we just tell them that it’s a privilege to play for the All Blacks, not a right,” he said.

“But I guess that’s tricky for you guys, given you don’t have that many people to chose from,” he laughed.

“If you are asking because of the whole Izzy thing, yeah that shit wouldn’t fly over here, and it wouldn’t have been allowed to run it’s course nearly a year like it has over there.”

“Anyway, yeah we just refuse to pick guys and shun them out of the setup if they think they can distract from the team culture.”

“And we tell them they can either go to French Rugby or go back to playing for fun and no money on Saturdays if they want to have controversial opinions or carry on when they are out on the piss.”

“Pretty simply really.”

“All our guys seem to understand that it’s sponsors who pay most of their wages so they respect that.”

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here