The body governing the game of cricket in Australia has confirmed today that it’s not at panic stations just yet.

Speaking exclusively to The Advocate this morning, Cricket Australia’s CEO Kevin Roberts informed us that they are holding tight for now.

This comes after the Australian side’s first test loss to India on home soil in 10 years and a string of poor results in the months leading up to the match.

The head of the organisation explained that they were just waiting to see what happened in Perth before deciding whether to ease up on this whole culture business.

“We’ve just got to wait and see what happens over in the west,” explained the Cricket Australia CEO.

“We all know what it’s usually like over there, hopefully, they don’t fuck us with this new Perth Stadium and the pitch is still as bouncy as a trampoline,” he said.

“So if we can get our pace attack firing, and our batsmen show a little bit of ticker and manage to restrain themselves from thrashing away at anything outside off, then things might work out okay.”

Roberts explained that the fact that we have never lost a test series to India on home soil is not lost on everyone at the organisation.

“If we collapse in Perth, we might have to look at forgetting this whole ‘Culture Review’ ever happened,” Roberts explained.

“I’m sure the public is happy to forgo the whole nice guy thing and return to the good old days if it means we can start notching up some wins again.”

“Or we just have to wait until March for Smudge to come back.”



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