LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
A local idiot has found himself envying the worms on the end of his hook as it turns out that ‘Fishing Trip’ wasn’t actually code for anything.
Being the sort of person that lives in a suburb where coffee beans are purchased in cafes to grind at home later, French Quarter local Scot Claren (30) admitted he got a little excited when his male friends started a group chat to discuss an upcoming ‘boys fishing trip’.
“I was so excited, I was seriously bracing myself for a world of pain,” stated Claren, who ended up being somewhat right about the pain.
“They said that Dave needed to get his mind off his break up which I thought sounded great. Was it going to be strippers, coke, that backyard wrestling we were always talking about?”
“Even that would have been better than this…”
Joining us over a video chat, Claren showed us how he is knee deep in a river too cold to swim in, trying to catch a fish with the cheapest rod commercially available as he didn’t bring his own because he thought the whole idea of a ‘fishing trip’ was a joke.
“Bags of bait, he was talking about bags of bait…”
“There’s been no action, no debauchery and the only carnage has been when Blake threw that fish back and it floated belly up to the surface again.”
“We don’t even have any dressing for the salad, it’s a fucking disaster.”
MORE TO COME.