One old dog reckons he can learn a few new tricks, as self-described ‘Wife Guy’ Ben Roman (30) reckons he’d know what to do on the dating apps, even though he’s been off the meat market for eight years.

Having been with his wife Nina for eight years (married for the last three) Roman’s last days as a single man were done in a predominantly pre-app society, where only really horny early adopters were getting in on the app action.

Despite his complete ignorance in the app-arena, Roman reckons he’d have his strategies all figured out despite the fact that this is a useless way to expel his brain power.

“Mate, if you can be smooth in person you can be smooth in a DM,” stated Roman, oblivious to how the neutralising power of an emotionless text can make anyone sound like a psycho.

“Or I’d just get talking to some chick IRL, ask her to add me on Tinder, we’d be all set.”

Our interview was cut short however when Roman’s missus walked into the room and he began to talk about something completely unrelated.

“I reckon I’d have at least three apps on the go, one for just hook ups, one for – the country! I think it’s important we all take one for the country, and the environment, three if you can. Bit by bit we are going to clean up our nation’s beaches.”

“But it’s nothing without the correct legislation. Let’s break down what that means…”



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