EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

“You don’t understand Laura, men are visual creatures.”

This is the excuse local man Timothy Albert has found himself using this morning, after yet again being caught scrolling through bikini accounts on Instagram while he ate his morning cereal, as though it was as normal as perusing the news.

“We’re just wired differently”, he continued, acting as if his girlfriend Laura doesn’t also admire a fine male form, but doesn’t feel the need to interact with fitness influencers on a daily basis, “every guy looks at women on Instagram, it’s not a big deal.”

“And it’s not like- oh shit, fuck.”Tim is momentarily forced to pause his musings after dropping some milk on his T-shirt, which he deftly attempts to blot his fingers for two seconds before giving up.

“Right, okay, so what I’m getting is that you like to look at beautiful things?”, queries Laura.

Tim nods. She’s finally getting it.

“Then why do you always look like you get dressed in the dark?”, she spits, very pointedly looking at Tim from head to toe.

“Even Adam Sandler dresses better than you.”

More to come.


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