A local girl is glad to have won back her Friday night after skillfully playing the oldest trick in the book.

Perched up on her couch firing off the last few emails for the afternoon, The Advocate understands local PR girl Sara Peters (28) has had a pretty big week, and quite frankly can’t be bothered putting shoes on.

Staring down the prospect of meeting up with 29-year-old finance bro “Jeff”, a guy who looks mildly handsome on his Hinge but only in three of his six photos, Sara has reportedly played a trusty get-out-of-jail free card by suggesting she has a case of the bum squirts. 

Unenthused by Jeff’s repeated requests to “go on a hike” or “meet up for Margs”, Sara told our reporter she’d much rather mainline a few episodes of ‘Wednesday’ and maybe Facetime her mate in London, than sit in an expensive bar and feign interest in the investment bankers rock climbing hobby.

“I just can’t be assed,” Sara said as she scrolled through her Instagram feed with boredom.

“I’ll have to dress up, and put my hair together, and I haven’t shaved my legs in two weeks…”

After spending her afternoon drafting up a message with the help of her mates in an all-girls group chat, Sara decided it was time to pull the trigger about 4:30pm, to at least let Jeff know he could get on the piss with his workmates instead of seeing her.

“Hey there, I’m so sorry but I went to a conference yesterday and I’ve picked up a bad case of gastro. Probably best I don’t come out tonight,” she typed.

Putting her phone on Do Not Disturb and launching it across the room, Sara loaded up Facetime on her laptop and shot a message to her worldly friend Beth, who’s living the high life in the UK.

“Hey I’m literally doing nothing tonight, get on Facetime I wanna hear about the London love life.”

More to come.


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