After a long, tedious day at work, sometimes it’s nice to relax a little with a glass of wine and an impromptu massage.

For a local Betoota Heights couple, May Turner and James Tippet, this should have been an ideal opportunity to bond with some physical touch and a segue to sexy time. But unfortunately, James’s lack of effort was anything but sexy.

It’s said that when May was initially asked to rub her partner’s shoulders, she’d immediately rolled up her sleeves and dug in deep, offering a twenty-minute massage that was almost professional.

Using baby oil at one point for a stubborn knot, May had been more than happy to exert all her energy into providing the back rub of all back rubs.

However, when it was James’s time to return the favour, it’s alleged the effort was borderline abysmal to the point of offensive, offering a massage so featherlight, it was as if it was done by a child.

After just two minutes of limp wristed squeezes, James is said to have signalled he was done by patting her back like he was a car salesman tapping the hood of a used Honda Civic – earning himself the ire of his very disgruntled wife.

“James are you fucking kidding me.”

“I’m never massaging you again.”

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here