A seasoned reserve grade prop has dared to dream this afternoon after making his case for a debut in the backline.

Genetically blessed with a girthy body shape, local bloke Duncan Waugh has spent his entire life being referred to as “the big fella”, and is well known around his footy club for being able to bring home a post game boat race.

The type of bloke that was always put in as goalie in school soccer or placed up the back as “the anchor” at an athletics carnival tug-of-war, Duncan has endured his 28 years on planet earth pigeon holed as the guy who will happily polish off the last remaining sausage rolls in the club canteen pie warmer.

But after six seasons playing Div 4 rugby for the Betoota Muttaburrasaurus side, The Advocate understands Dunc decided this week he’d finally upgrade his wide fitting Asics boots and try to fit his piggy little trotters into a fresh pair of bright yellow Nike footy boots, complete with a sock lining upper.

However after turning up 15 minutes late to training, with a fresh curry stain still wet on his club singlet, Duncan was reportedly handed a torrential rinsing from the rest of his team, who told him to pull his head in, and by that they meant get his cauliflower ears back into the scrum.

“Oi oi boys, Dunc has got some new boots, jeez they’re a bit flash for you aren’t they mate,” catcalled club flyhalf Jez Cartwright, as he gave his hamstrings a stretch.

“What the hell are they!” exclaimed right side flanker Jayden ‘Jaydo’ Edwards.

Careful not to get too much mud on his snazzy new boots, witnesses say Duncan couldn’t even get on the paddock before second guessing his purchase and deciding he might just return them back to Rebel Sport in the next few days.

Downtrodden by the team-wide bullying, Dunc decided he’d just pull his trusty old Asics from his kit bag, and give them another sad run this season.

More to come.


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