A bitter bloke has decided to dish out his own twisted brand of justice this morning, after failing to score himself a free seat upgrade.

Flying on QF125 to Auckland out of Brisbane today, local law grad Aaron Cleary appeared sad and sullen whilst receiving the level of treatment that he had actually paid for.

Having spent the past week watching TikToks and reading several blogs that outline how to scam a free ride in Business, Aaron had reportedly arrived at the airport pretty certain that he’d be flying alongside the rich and famous.

Wearing a freshly waashed shirt and dousing himself in sheets of cologne, witnesses say Aaron had even taken the incredibly cringey step of calling all airport staff by their name badge, as if he was some kind of serial killer taking down names for future kills.

However after failing to sweet talk Qantas staff at the baggage check and the boarding gate, Aaron was forced to dawdle onto the plane with a ticket to the seat he paid for, 45E, right next to the toilets.

Upon walking past the first ten rows of the A330 kitted out with reclining chairs and soft cotton pillows, Aaron scowled at the private cabin of passengers who had forked out three times as much to fly in luxury comfort.

With an airport bacon and egg roll and strong cappuccino fermenting inside his guts, Aaron decided he might as well leave behind the pungent taste of bitterness, letting a silent one rip as he walked down the aisles.

Unaware he’d not only stunk out business but the majority of the rest of the plane, Aaron was publicly sanctioned by another passenger walking down to the depths of cattle class with him.

“Jesus mate, was that you?”, accused Barry Davies, a 60-year-old Toowoomba man flying to New Zealand to visit his grandchildren.

“Have some decorum, some of us have gotta sit next to you all day…”


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