There is no stronger bond than that of family. There is no greater respect than that which we have for our elders.

Sadly, our wise and wrinkled ones won’t live forever. The inescapable fact of both our own and our grandparents’ lives is that they must end.
You visit them rarely, I know. Spending time with Grandma is just too hard now she’s all alone with Grandpa gone. And you feel bad that you don’t see her enough. Poor lonely Grandma. Alone in that big old house. 

That big old beautiful house.

That big old beautiful two storey four bedroom two bathroom double garage premier location with ocean views multimillion dollar house.
Wow, imagine living there. Imagine owning it and being able to sell the fucker off at market value. Wait a year before selling it and you avoid paying capital gains tax, too.

No, no you shouldn’t think like that. Grandma is family after all. You don’t wish her dead do you? No, of course not… of course not.
But this could be the only shot you’ll ever have at home ownership given the state of the Australian housing market. And I guess now is the time that Gran would be considering the details of her Will. 

Oh Shit! That’s probably why your deadshit cousins have been spending so much time with her these past few months. Sneaky assholes.
Are you gunna sit back and lose the house to your dropkick cousins without even putting up a fight? Hell no. You’ve got to fight. You’ve got to outshine them. So get in the car right now and go visit the old duck before she keels over and carks it.

And when it comes to outshining your deadshit cousins in order to win Grandma’s home, there’s only one way to do that. 

Quality time.

Yep, just good old fashioned quality time spent with Grandma. Simple as that. Just get up there, get around her and don’t leave until one of you stops breathing.

Do that and I guarantee you that your deadshit cousins will know the jig is up and panic. They’ll get desperate and make mistakes, the deadshits that they are.

Just put the time in and let your superior social interaction skills shine. Soon enough Grandma will be putty in your hands, bless her. 
What are you waiting for? A graved invitation? It’s your time to shine.


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