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“You boys smell that?” Zac Windshuttle blurted out a bit too eagerly.

“Someone’s got a spliff!”

Judging by the unimpressed expressions on his friends’ faces they were already fully aware that the smell of marijuana was lingering in the air, they just weren’t lame enough to point it out.

“Yeah when he says shit like that we just let it through to the keeper” one friend told the Advocate shortly after the incident.

“It’s because he used to punch heaps of cones but then got a girlfriend and reigned in his behaviour”

“Like, we get it mate, you used to smoke weed, we all did. We just don’t point it out like a fucking twelve-year-old.”

The Advocate understands that there’s a Zac in almost every group of friends, however the drug they’re pointing out isn’t always marijuana.

According to a survey done by the Betoota Recreational Drug Society, another popular drug side effect for ex-druggos to make known is if there’s someone, or multiple people, gurning.

Gurning is when muscle tension in the face occurs, usually resulting the jaw swinging and tongue rolling uncontrollably while teeth grind aggressively together. This grotesque phenomenon is often a result of the subject ingesting one too many Red Stars.

Through an anonymous source, the Advocate can confirm that there’s a new shipment of Red Stars and Green Mitsubishi’s on their way to Betoota, so put on some Dukes Of Windsor.

More to come.

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