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NUMBERS ARE LOOKING GOOD: Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk said the state’s reporting of zero new cases today was “fantastic news” – and has once again urged all Queenslanders to get their jabs so that she can revisit conversations around opening borders.

“That is enormously helpful because it means that we can be confident that we don’t have virus circulating in our community despite the large number of people who are still coming into Queensland.”

However, Palaszczuk says it’s not enough for her state to be immune to this virus, but she also wants to ensure that Queenslanders are immune to the non-stop stream of bullshit coming out of Scotty From Marketing’s focus-groups.

In regards to re-opening the border to the other states, the Premier said she would not be making decisions when she has not seen detailed modelling.

“It is only fair and reasonable that we have a constructive debate in this country and rather than picking fights and attacks.”

“It is not about being against a national plan, we are all for a national plan,” she said.

The Premier says right now ‘the national plan’ was for the Premiers to throw caution to the wind and open up sooner than they are comfortable with, and then shoulder all of the blame if everything goes to shit.

“But Scotty leaning on those poor locked down states and bullying them into opening up when only 70% of their population have been jabbed…”

“I spose it goes without saying that this is not something I’m going to let happen up here”

“I know Rupert is working tirelessly with the Federal Government to kill off any newspapers that doesn’t make the Morrison government look like a glowing success story…. But most Queenslanders can generally see through that”

“It doesn’t matter how many of our struggling country towns are being exposed to free-to-air Sky News broadcasts on their televisions”

“I’m gonna wait until at least 80% of our population is immune to the absolute bulshit coming out of Canberra”

“Fuck he talks some shit doesn’t he?”

The Premier was then applauded by every reporter present at the press conference, including Murdoch’s own employees.

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