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The forgotten generation between the people who invented the internet and the people who discovered how to use the internet have had to find new ways to get attention during the coronavirus pandemic, it has been confirmed.
While not being old enough to fit into the high-risk bracket like the baby boomers that preceded them, and not being young enough to be able to complain about inheriting all of the government debt, this particular demographic cohort have once again begun leaning into conspiracy theories in their search for the White Australian Dream of achieving victim status.
The watered-down hippies known as Generation X, who became radicalised against their parents political views through a combination of heavy marijuana use and the anti-John Howard rhetoric of 1990s Triple J, are actually now louder than ever as the climate change debate is overtaken by the anti-lockdown debate in the Australian news cycle.
This has been put down to the fact that COVID-19 social distancing measures mean they are no longer able to take their kids out of school and head to the centre of town to yell about the government’s energy policies.
Without the ability the invade feedlots and shut down the CBD with superglue and megaphones, hundreds of thousands of Australians who think dreadlocks look good on white girls are now just making stuff up.
The Department of Health have reported that their office has received more than 1500 items of anti-vaxxer correspondence since April 1 – while the Social Services office has received at least 600 hard-copy letters on the subject as well.
This rise of the anti-5G movement and the roaring return of anti-vaccination debates has been directly blamed on Gen-X – and it isn’t the first time they have missed the mark.
As a generation, Generation-X are also solely responsible for the popularity of Limp Bizkit, Everyone Loves Raymond and high-sugar Turkish bread.
Environmentalist groups and progressive politicians are now growing weary that the climate change debate is losing legitimacy due to 40+ demographic of Pete Evans and Joe Hildebrand types who are now showing that they are more than willing to protest absolutely nothing.
One local Gen-X radical from Betoota’s countercultural hinterland town of Linenwunsie has today shrugged off suggestions that his age group are responsible for spreading more misinformation than Sky News with their secret anti-vax Facebook groups.
“Pffft” says Jeremy Aniston (44), a full-time naturopathy therapist who invented his own qualifications
“At least I don’t think wind turbines cause cancer”
“Like, seriously, how do these stupid boomers not believe in climate change!?” he asks.
“Don’t get me started on the millennials with their stupid housing market conspiracies. What a bunch of snow flakes lol. Lay off the avocado”
“You can see why there’s so many idiots that believe whatever big pharma tells them”