LIL SOOK | UNPAID INTERN | CONTACT
The editors, field reporters and cadets of The Betoota Advocate have today finally returned to the newsroom on Daroo street today, after blatantly taking a week off.
This all became clear when both The Betoota Advocate’s official social media and the newspaper’s website dedicated an entire week to rehashing the ‘best of 2022’ – a very decadent exercise that only required one extremely stoned intern to remain in the office.
The absence of hard hitting news in the media cycle has not been lost on the Australian people, with a vast number of Betoota Advocate readers taking to both social media and email to criticise the newspaper for pulling a scomo.
“Bugger em” said editor-at-large, Errol Parker.
“We needed a break too you know. Three state elections, a Federal Election. It’s been a big year. Don’t get me started on White Lotus”
Ironically, the winning article of the TOP 50 BETOOTA STORIES OF 2022 countdown actually finished with an explosive expose into former Prime Minister Scott Morrison’s fateful Hawaiian holiday during the Black Summer Bushfires.
Editor Clancy Overell makes no apologies for the very clear comparison between Scott Morrison’s behaviour and The Betoota Advocate’s.
“I get it. But to be honest I don’t really give a fuck. We don’t owe anything to you people. We weren’t elected. We got here through hard, honest nepotism and cronyism”
Field reporter Effie Bateman, however, says the week-long break is one she will regret.
“It actually WAS my Bushfires.” she says.
“I can’t believe I slept through Andrew Tate’s hilarious fall from grace… And all of these really cringeworth Prince Harry revelations”
Eternal cadet, Wendell Hussey, says the cricket has not been exciting enough to warrant an early return to work.
“Sandpaper is the bar now. Anything less scandalous than I’m not peeling myself off the couch.
“Kerry O’Keefe talking absolute shit on the TV. Couple of prawns. Cold can of coke. Fan on inside. Oohhh year. That’s how I spend summer.”