ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Political journeyman Barnaby Joyce has put in for whatever leave accused rapist Christian Porter and the incompetent Linda Reynolds are on right now after a few choice holiday rentals opened up at Yamba, a delightful seaside town in NSW that’s home to people from all walks of life including retired farmers and some of the most violent people in the Southern Hemisphere.

“So you just slap the black dog button and you get to go on holidays for a few weeks while the news cycle gets over whatever you did?” Joyce asked this masthead.

“Fuck me, that wouldn’t have happened in Malcolm’s Government. Or Tony’s. Tell you what, it would’ve saved me a whole bunch of trouble if I could’ve done it. Anyway, what do I have to do?”

“Do I just call a press conference and say the pressures of my job and the pressure of being a fit and proper person are getting to me and I need a few weeks off to smoke Peter Stuyvesants under a tree on Pippi Beach?”

“Whoever says the public service is disconnected from society was bloody right.”

It’s understood by The Advocate that Mr Joyce’s newfangled mental health leave has been approved by the Government as they cannot be seen to have double standards, a spokesperson said.

More to come.


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