The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The one thing Henry Jacob's divorced parents can agree on is the fact that they wasted countless thousands of dollars putting him through one of our town's most exclusive private schools. The 24-year-old's friends are constantly dumbfounded as they bear witness to Henry's immeasurable stupidity day-in-day-out. Every so often, he manages to out dumb himself with...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Angus Taylor has been treated to a rousing reception at an international Climate Change conference today. As huge parts of his home country burn or smoulder as a result of catastrophic bushfires, which experts and scientists say is exacerbated by climate change, the Australian Energy and Emissions Reduction Minister has won the crowd over by discrediting the threat...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Insult has potentially been added to injury for one local man today after he received a double-spaced and randomly justified email from his Aunt Joan that suggested the family scrap the planned turkey for Christmas lunch for a more environmentally-friendly alternative. Therefore, according to Aunt Joan's nephew, Ruaraidh Boyle, Christmas is fucked. The 28-year-old IT...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As out-of-control bushfires continue to burn to the west of town, the parents of an unvaccinated youngster have forced them to wear a dust mask to an extra-curricular activity this afternoon. The winds are blowing in hard off the desert, pushing the acrid smoke over town and choking those, who under the laws of Darwinism,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Sydney city is today being smothered by the thickest smoke cloud of this unprecedented and record-breaking bushfire season. It is being blown from large fires near Warragamba Dam and the Wollombi National Park. Although most of Sydney has had some relief from the smoke over the last 24 hours, it has reportedly returned with a vengeance this morning. Residents woke to the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The curators of the nation's most overrated sporting venue have applied a low-yield nuclear strike against their own pitch this morning in an effort to make sure nobody is seriously hurt on Boxing Day. While some in the industry would consider doing that quite an extreme measure, after play was abandoned during a Sheild game...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister stirred this morning sometime after six, found his glasses on the bedside table, looked at his phone and let out a quiet, private 'fuck'. Australians - and not just the ones on the eastern fringe - were still talking about these bloody bushfires. Scott Morrison told the media yesterday that he understood there...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A block of cheap flats in Betoota Heights boldly displays the year the building was built - in a manner that suggests it's still going to be a block of year flats in a hundred years' time. The former Medina serviced apartment complex on the corner of Monterey Road and Hinze Street has already been...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The artform formerly known as 'graffiti vandalism' is expected to be legalised in 2020, following a decision by Prime Minister Scott Morrison to axe the federal arts department. On Thursday, Mr Morrison announced dramatic changes to the public service, cutting the number of departments from 18 to 14. The arts community initially mobilised against the decision, but have since...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Australian Federation of Pilots has told their members to respect cyclists and leave at least one meter when passing them. It comes after a fourth incident between a Diamantina Air Freight (DAF) aircraft and a peloton of local cyclists almost came to blows after the pilot was forced to go round because his glide...