The artform formerly known as ‘graffiti vandalism’ is expected to be legalised in 2020, following a decision by Prime Minister Scott Morrison to axe the federal arts department.

On Thursday, Mr Morrison announced dramatic changes to the public service, cutting the number of departments from 18 to 14.

The arts community initially mobilised against the decision, but have since decided that legalising graffiti on train panels is necessary for the arts to survive in a country that only has one high-profile artist in the shape of Anh Doh.

“Basically any form of getting up will be legalised going into the new year” said Morrison.

“Bombing panels, throwies, scratchies. Whatever you want. There’ll be no more ID checks at Bunnings. I’m in half a mind to scrap the GST on Ironlak”

The current Department of Communications and the Arts is set to be scrapped, after Prime Minister Morrison decided there has been no need for it ever since the successful roll-out of the NBN, and the funding that was tipped into filming the Great Gatsby in Joe Hockey’s electorate.

Instead, Mr Morrison said arts will fall under the new Department of Infrastructure, Transport, Regional Development and Communications, which among other things will oversee road and rail and not doing anything about the ice plague currently ravage rural Australia.

This decision results in a wave of forced redundancies for the already very people employed by the state to explore solutions to Australia’s cultural deficit that was most visibly on display during the Sydney Olympics Opening Ceremony.

Turnbull briefly added ‘Arts’ to the titled of the Department Of Communication and the Arts, however, the word art will no longer exist in public policies moving forward – like every other legacy left behind from Turnbull’s brief time as Prime Minister – except for the same-sex marriage laws – and even they aren’t safe from repeal under Morrison.

Morrison has today announced that notorious Brisbane graffer ‘Sofles’ as the Minister in charge of the new department of Arts and Transport – after proving his mettle in the early 2000s when he was bombing every QR car in the South-East corner while successful evading arrest for over a decade.

“This man used to have entire task-forces chasing him” said Morrison.

“Now he will be chasing up on task-forces”

Morrison says hiring Sofles as the Scotty Cam of tagging trains is a perfect example of getting a go after having a go.

“I have full confidence in this new department” he said.

“If you have a go bombing panels, you’ll get a go slashing budgets to art schools and re-selling off land that was rezoned for the Australian speed-rail project that will never exist until they can get over this stupid idea of running it on renewable energy out of their proposals”

“Arts and transport go together quite naturally”


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