ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

As out-of-control bushfires continue to burn to the west of town, the parents of an unvaccinated youngster have forced them to wear a dust mask to an extra-curricular activity this afternoon.

The winds are blowing in hard off the desert, pushing the acrid smoke over town and choking those, who under the laws of Darwinism, would’ve otherwise been left to asphyxiate in a gully somewhere.

Betoota Grove couple, Bucket and Reginald Bong, told our reporter that now is not the time to discuss their child Gravity’s current free-range status. Now is the time to discuss how the Coalition government is destroying the planet.

“When Reg and I were growing up in Betoota, we never had to wear dust masks because of bushfires. This is proof the climate has changed. It’s not changing, it has changed,” said Bucket.

“Gravity is terrified. They’ve never had to go to basket-weaving class with a dust mask on because of the smoke. But it’s the only way to prevent his coughy bad bad from flaring up. Isn’t that right, Grav?”

Young Gravity nodded.

They started speaking but our reporter couldn’t understand.

“Oh don’t mind that. He speaks in his own language he made up,” added Reginald.

“Only Gravity and his imaginary friend, Can, are able to speak it.”


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