ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Prime Minister stirred this morning sometime after six, found his glasses on the bedside table, looked at his phone and let out a quiet, private ‘fuck’.

Australians – and not just the ones on the eastern fringe – were still talking about these bloody bushfires.

Scott Morrison told the media yesterday that he understood there were bushfires currently burning their way toward the ocean. That was about it.

“I’m only one man,” he said.

“What am I supposed to do? Bushfires come part and parcel with Australian life. They’ve been happening for hundreds of thousands of years. All the carbon emitted from these recent fires equates to just a few days worth of emissions from China. What do you want me to do? I’m all ears.”

He then closed the doorstop without taking further questions.

Like when the body has a random ache or pain, such as a headache or sore back, a night of good sleep can restart and rejuvenate the body.

For the Scott, a night of good sleep has seen the talking points and teacup storms of yesterday dissipate.

But this time it hasn’t worked. People are still talking about the bushfires and they’re demanding action.

Speaking to The Advocate this morning via telephone, the Prime Minister said he caught himself daydreaming about the day he wakes up and the bushfires are out.

“That’ll be the day. That’s when we can all get about the business of going on holidays and spending time with our families. We can all get a beach house, a big bowl of prawns. Homemade seafood sauce with a little bit of Siracha mixed in for the adults. I might even have a mixed six-pack of James Squires to myself when all this is over,” he said.

“And I implore all Australians to do that, too.”

Mr Morrison then hung up on our reporter.

More to come.


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